8th
James Cooper Commentary: Penis Goes to the Movies
“Fast and Furious” opened to a record-breaking $70 million, a figure that exceeds the opening grosses of the three previous films. The film marks the return of actor Vin Diesel to a series apparently too lazy to bother adding a number after Furious or come up with a clever title. (What? Nowhere to go after the groundbreaking 2 Fast 2 Furious?)
Much of the conversation surrounding the surprising success of this new film has focused on Diesel’s return to the franchise.
However, I have some more provocative thoughts.
It all started when I purchased my ticket for “Watchmen” a few weeks ago. I was unsure exactly what to expect from Zach Snyder’s adaptation of Alan Moore and Dave Gibbon’s graphic novel because I had not read it. Imagine my surprise when Dr. Manhattan (Billy Crudup), a lustrous blue figure who spends most of the film nude (and bald, but I digress), appeared on screen. Dr. Manhattan engages in the film’s most thought-provoking and philosophical conversations, questioning the metaphysical and debating the merits of saving humanity from itself.
During these discussions and in full view of the camera, little Dr. Manhattan dangles between his legs. Little, as is often the case in these matters, is relative in “Watchmen” considering that Dr. Manhattan is a gigantic figure, often towering over other characters on screen. He appears similarly in the graphic novel and, if nothing else, Snyder seems determined to adhere as close as he possibly can to his source material (for better or worse).
Dr. Manhattan’s penis got me thinking about all the other recent big screen penis sightings in mainstream cinema. In “Sex and the City: The Movie,” the camera lingers on the object of Samantha’s (Kim Cattrall) lust, a chiseled neighbor, Dante (Gilles Marini). In one of the final moments of the film, that camera lingers on a close-up on Dante’s penis, reminiscent of the way that naughty late night television or soft-core porn might do.
Producer Judd Apatow’s (“The 40-Year-Old Virgin,” “Superbad”) “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” lets actor Jason Spiegel use full frontal nudity to suggest the banality and unsexiness of it all. Actually, that film seems intent on presenting little Spiegel in the most unflattering scenarios. In “Forgetting Sarah Marshall,” the penis is the punch line that the film insists on relegating to the status of the dull.
In other words, what is the big deal about the penis? It baffles the mind why mainstream cinema is so hesitant to show full frontal male nudity as it takes pride in displaying the female body in all its naked glory.
Surely I don’t need to point to the seemingly endless examples of moments where boobs bounce around on screen (“My Bloody Valentine 3D” managed to make boobies bounce right off the screen).
“Zach and Miri Make a Porno,” in addition to its graphic (and, more importantly, hilarious) sex scenes, includes a scene where Lester (Jason Mewes) walks out of his room completely nude. He walks down the hallway past Zach (Seth Rogen), penis in full view. The film performed poorly at the box office, and most analysts argued that its mediocre performance was a result of its provocative title. In other words, audiences would watch a film about Zach and Miri making a porno as long as the title didn’t say it. The subsequent DVD release featured a “Make a Porno”-less “Zach and Miri.”
Et tu, Kevin Smith?
So, audiences are incapable of seeing a part of the male anatomy on screen but cannot get enough of female nudity? I find that increasingly difficult to believe. I also found it difficult to believe the groans (of protest) when I saw “Watchmen” and “Zach and Miri” here in Stillwater, a college town. Those uncomfortable groans came during moments where full frontal male nudity appeared on screen, noticeably from the men in attendance.
These groans are especially unbelievable considering some recent statistics. In an ABC News story, a nationwide study looked at the anonymous credit card receipts of a prominent adult entertainment online site. “Those states that do consume the most porn tend to be more conservative and religious than states with lower levels of consumption,” the ABC study found.
“Some of the people who are most outraged turn out to be consumers of the very things they claimed to be outraged by,” notes Benjamin Edelman at Harvard Business School.
Really, who are we fooling? The audience for “Fast and Furious” was 57 percent male and 59 percent older than 25. They did not go to see Diesel’s triumphant return. They went to see those cars, those sexy, stylish, hot, cars. They went to see hard bodies on display, to look under the hood.
Is it not time to set aside such symbolic placeholders and grow up?
